Faith and Communion

This weekend, my 5 ½ year-old son will receive first communion at our local parish.  With great faith, his father and I will let my son loose on the holy Sacrament.  With even greater faith (and less common sense), we will dress him in white pants, a white shirt and white shoes.  I shudder to think how those crisp white clothes will look at the end of the day, after all the running around, grape juice, cake and squirming in the pew. 

Many of my friends and family have asked me, “Do you think he’s ready?  Do you think he understands the Sacrament?  Do you really think those pants will stay clean?”  To be 100% honest, I don’t know and I’m not sure I care.  Please don’t mistake me, I treasure and honor the Sacrament with deep reverence. 

If it were my Sacrament or my church’s, I’d worry about it more.  I’d stress about his preparedness and his seriousness.  But it doesn’t belong to me or to my church to worry about.  It belongs to God.  And it is freely given, even to those who don’t deserve or understand it.  In God’s eyes, surely I must be as unworthy and unprepared to receive the Sacrament as my son.   He might even be more worthy than me because he approaches the Eucharist with the innocence and wonder of a child whereas I approach with the wariness and skepticism of an adult. 

I also think of the moment during which I was created and sent into the world with God’s blessing.  Surely the angels and archangels must have asked, “Do you think he’s ready? Do you think he understands what it means to be a child of God?  Do you think he’ll stay that pure forever?”  God simply smiled and sent me into the world anyway, knowing that one day I’d return to Him as pure and as innocent as the day created me.  At least that has always been His wish for me.  Despite all that I’ve done and left undone, God wants to remember me in that moment. As I was sent into the world, so was my son.

I don’t have faith that my son will understand the Sacrament fully, but he doesn’t need to.  I do have faith that God invites him and all His children to the Sacrament with love and patience.  As with his Baptism, my son’s first Communion does not “introduce” or “reacquaint” him with God.  He is well known to God already.  God rejoiced in his coming before he was known to us.  God embraced him before his tiny body had taken form.  God called him by name even before he was given one. If my son stumbles, God will reach out to catch him. This Sacrament is more like a comforting and familiar hand on my son’s shoulder, leading him through the darkness of this life. 

So this Sunday, I will kneel with my son before the bread and the wine.  We will not commune as parent and child, but together as children of God, equally invited and equally unaware of the mystery behind the Sacrament. Whatever we lack in our preparation, God will complete for each of us.

And if you’re still wondering about those pants, rest assured, I’ll carry my stain remover pen with me.